


Finding My Way

by Sassycaslovesdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas is Human, Charlotte and Emily are Dean and Castiel's children, Death, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, Uncle Sammy, Violence, Weird, bi characters, big bro Samandriel, one happy, sorry - Freeform, they adopted Samandriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-24 00:52:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12001503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassycaslovesdean/pseuds/Sassycaslovesdean
Summary: Dean and Cas definitely had their hands full this time. Their nephilim daughter had more energy than they could handle. Plus, they still have their older daughter, Charlotte, their adopted son, Samandriel, and their sort of daughter, Claire. Needless to say, they are exhausted





	Finding My Way

**Author's Note:**

> You may need a brief explanation. Castiel's grace split, which was how both Emily and Charlotte were formed because I believe this is how angels would reproduce. however, in Emily's case, a piece of Dean's soul lingered when Cas touched his soul and she became a nephilim. However, at that time, Castiel's grace was also fading out from rebellion, so Emily absorbed his grace until he had none left, and he became increasingly weak and dillusional until he died and she was born. Dean did not know until after God brought Cas back and Cas went out to find her. Also, they did not tell Claire that Cas was dying to spare her feelings. I also have established that Cas was and is suicidal because we don't talk about that enough. That should be it... I think. Let me know!

Dean woke up, sweat beading his forehead as a nightmare shook his pleasant dreams, images of Cas bleeding out with a small smile of satisfaction on his face flying through his brain at a rapid rate. 

He shuddered as he shot up in bed, his eyes wide and unfocused as they anxiously looked around in search of Cas to make sure that he was safe and it was only just a dream, but his anxiety only increased when he noticed that Cas was nowhere to be seen.

Fear coursed through him, fueling his every movement. His hands flew to the spot where Cas had previously been curled up next to him in a peaceful slumber.

“Cas?” He whispered out in fear, throwing the covers off of him and flinging his legs over the side of the bed.

He stepped out on shaky legs, fumbling through the doorway and checking the bathroom first. Out of everything, what he feared most was finding Cas bleeding out on the floor, angry red palms turned upwards as his hazy eyes drifted in and out of consciousness with that small smile of peace.

No. He's getting better… He wouldn't… Dean swallowed hard, bravely opening the bathroom door upon finding that it was unlocked. He sighed in relief as he found it empty as he had left it, no Cas in sight.

He turned from the bathroom, his feet taking him to the only other place he could think to find Cas.

And find him he did. Castiel was in the designated nursery with Emily in his arms. He was smiling softly down at her as he gently rocked her back and forth, humming something softly to her to try and calm her down.

Despite the fact that the nursery and their bedroom were in fact separate for the purpose of keeping Emily away from Dean during his frequent nightmares, Cas or Dean often spent a lot of their nights in the nursery trying to hush Emily and soothe her back into sleep. 

Dean leaned in the doorway as he watched Cas tenderly care for their daughter. There was some sort of natural nurturing about Cas that made him seem so gentle when Dean knew perfectly well that Cas was still a warrior perfectly capable of killing. He could not help but keep a smile off his face as he watched the scene, hearing Emily's happy, sleepy murmurs. 

Chuck, thank you for giving him back to me, and letting her back into our lives… Dean mentally thanked his father-in-law. And for keeping Charlotte by my side. I… 

Cas softly smiled, whispering down to Emily. “I love you, Emily Grace. You are my precious little girl. You and your older sister are so special to me, and of course, Daddy is too.” He adjusted her in his arms, turning around to face Dean with a smile. “They all love you, and I love all of them. Your daddy is a good man. He is strong.” He half addressed Emily and half addressed Dean, his eyes alight with affection.

Dean lightly shook his head as he left his perch at the doorway to join Cas, coming up behind Cas to wrap his arms around his waist. “Yeah, well, Miss Emily, your Mommy is pretty awesome,” He whispered into Castiel's ear while staring down at Emily. “And he is gonna be so protective and loving towards you, but he's the best. He… He's what keeps me going. You have the best Mommy in the world.”

Castiel grinned, leaning his head backwards to kiss Dean on the cheek. “Your daddy may pretend to be cold, but he is actually a sap.” He chuckled, looking back down at Emily, only half addressing her.

“Please, don't listen, Emily. Your Mommy is the biggest sap alive.” Dean grinned from ear to ear as placed a kiss in Castiel's hair.

“That is debatable.” Castiel simply commented, closing his eyes to enjoy having Dean and their daughter peacefully next to him.

“Mmm I don't think so.” Dean murmured, closing his eyes and humming contently as the comfortable silence commenced between the two of them. Thanks, Chuck, they're perfect.

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Cas had been cutting up some strawberries for breakfast when he slipped and cut his hand. He froze when he did, hearing Emily's crying from the high chair in the next door room. He stared down at the blood steadily oozing from the cut, finding his gaze transfixed on the injury as he put the knife down.

Yes, I'm human now. I bleed so easily… He watched the blood flow out from the cut for a few moments with a familiar feeling of satisfaction as if some debt was finally being paid. For that reason, he stood there and let the cut bleed while watching it with hollow eyes.

“Cas!” Dean nearly shrieked, rushing into the room with the crying baby in his arms. “What the hell, Cas!? What happened?”

“I merely slipped, Dean.” Castiel murmured, averting his gaze from Dean's, unwilling to meet his fearful green eyes. 

“Then why are you standing there watching it like it's some sort of fireworks show?” Dean harshly demanding, his tone and Castiel's pain further upsetting Emily.

“I… Was not,” Castiel lamely lied. “I was just a bit shocked at how easily I can be hurt.”

Pure fear crossed Dean's features as he stepped closer to Cas, trying to read his expression. “You mean… How easily you could hurt yourself?”

“No, Dean, I… I was just startled.” Castiel brushed it off, feeling guilty already for reverting back to self punishment tactics. After all, he had a family that needed him.

“Cas, we’ve gone through all of this therapy and talking stuff to be open. You have to tell me if something is wrong.” Dean demanded while simultaneously rocking Emily.

“Dean, I…” Castiel began, cutting himself off when he saw innocent little Emily staring up at him and reaching out for him with small little arms, her crying continuing on. “Perhaps I… Perhaps I felt I deserved it. I suppose pain still feels like penance for me.” He murmured as he took Emily out of Dean's arms and into his own,gently hushing her.

Emily's eyes glowed a faint grayish blue as she pressed a small chubby hand against Castiel's, immediately healing the wound. As soon as the wound was healed, she stopped crying and giggled happily.

Castiel's eyes widened as he saw the wound patch itself up. He stared down in disbelief at his joyfully cooing daughter.

“H-hey,” Dean stammered, looking at Emily with undisguised wonder. “She… She healed you. Huh, that's, uh, pretty cool.”

“It's not normal, Dean.” Castiel reminded him, shaking his head lightly as he hummed to Emily.

“What do you mean? Angels heal people all the time… Right?” Dean asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as a pang of nervousness crept through him.

“Not this young. This is… Abnormal.” Castiel corrected him, gently brushing his fingers through Emily's small tufts of hair.

“Well, maybe her powers are just coming sooner because she's a Nephilim?” Dean suggested, earning an icy glare from Castiel. “Right, sorry, I keep forgetting that we can't use that word.” He held his hands up in surrender, knowing that he should not have used the term because Castiel viewed it as the equivalent of a racial slur.

Castiel huffed indignantly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Emily's head as if to erase the word from her mind. “Perhaps, but that means that she will be so young when she gets her powers, and children like her are considered to be one of the most dangerous people to have ever existed, so having all of those powers so young… It could be catastrophic.”

Dean blinked several times, trying to comprehend what it was that Castiel was saying. “So… You think she could become… Evil? Like the neph- children like her in the past?”

“No.” Castiel quickly denied the idea with a sharp tone. “No, we will raise her to be good, and she will be good. I just wonder if it will be too much and if she may feel overwhelmed.”

“Hey, as long as she has you, I think she'll be fine.” Dean joked, motioning to the fact that Emily was now calm and practically asleep in Castiel's arms.

“She loves you too, Dean. She will need you just as much as she needs me - if not more because you know the most about being human.” 

“Huh, I guess that's true, but she really does like you a lot.” Dean pointed out with an affectionate smirk. “Can’t say I blame her.”

Castiel rolled his eyes, shaking his head lightly at Dean's antics. “She likes me because my grace is familiar in the same way that Charlotte's is. She likes you because your soul is familiar. I believe she may be attached to me because… I did talk to her before you knew about her.” He sheepishly admitted, almost blushing as he brought it up. “I found it comforting to be able to relay to her some type of message before she was even properly formed. I wanted to have some kind of connection with her, so I used to talk to her. I suppose being separated from me was then difficult for her because she knew that I was supposed to be there for her. Perhaps that is why she is hesitant to let me leave her.”

“Cas…” Dean hoarsely whispered, wrapping an arm around his husband's shoulders to bring him and their daughter closer to him. “I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I wish I had been there for you. I'm sorry, Cas.”

“I did not tell you, Dean. You could not have done anything. There is nothing to be sorry about.” Castiel assured him.

“It doesn't make it any better. Just let me comfort you.” Dean grumbled, keeping his face buried in the crook of Castiel's neck.

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel breathed out in gratitude.

Emily gurgled sleepily in agreement.

\----------------------------------------------------

“Goodbye, Emily.” Castiel whispered as he placed his daughter into Sam's arms. “We will be back soon.”

“See you in a bit, kid.” Dean half smiled, leaning against Cas for support as he waved goodbye to Emily.

Emily fussed in Sam's arms, reaching for Castiel as he turned to leave with Charlotte and Dean by his side to go to one of Dean's AA meetings as support.

“They’ll be back.” Sam comforted her, bouncing her in his arms. 

“Does she always do this when they leave?” Samandriel asked once the three had left, taking a hesitant step towards Sam and Emily.

“Yeah, she's usually pretty upset whenever they come to check up on her, especially when Cas comes. She doesn't like being taken from him.” Sam frowned as he bounced Emily in his arms to try and calm her down. “It usually takes a while to quiet her down again.”

“May I?” Samandriel politely asked, holding his arms out for his adopted little sister.

“Yeah, sure.” Sam did not hesitate to hand his niece over to Samandriel, who naturally accepted the bundle of crying infant into his arms.

He whispered a soft few words in Enochian, rocking her back and forth.

Emily's cries began to decrease in volume, becoming small whimpers as she watched him intently.

Within a few minutes, she was completely silent, starting to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

Sam blinked in amazement as the fussing baby immediately became quiet and tranquil. “What was that?”

“An Enochian phrase that is often used to hush restless fledglings. I have only heard it used a few times, but it usually works. I learned it from Castiel. He taught it to me so that I could calm Charlotte while she was younger while he was gone.” Samandriel explained, his gaze locked downwards upon the sleepy little fledgling.

“So it works because she's an angel?” Sam asked with interest.

Samandriel hesitated, remembering that Sam and Cameron had yet to know Emily's true identity. “Yes, it would most likely be because of her angelic status or perhaps because she is familiar with Castiel saying it to her.”

“Huh, well, thanks anyway, Samandriel. That's, uh, really helpful.” 

“You are welcome. I suppose I should let her sleep now.”

“Good luck with that.” Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he turned to leave. “She wakes up as soon as you try and put her down.”

A hint of a smile tugged at Samandriel's lips as he gently rocked the baby in his arms. Strangely, he did not mind having to hold her. He liked being able to keep her safe. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------

Dean had rushed out the door in a hurry when he discovered that Cas had taken off on his own to try and go on a solo hunt. 

Cas had felt useless for too long a period of time, and it had led to him becoming reckless in taking hunts. Worried sick, Dean scurried to leave before anything bad could happen, instructing Charlotte and Samandriel to stay in place unless called on in order to prevent Cas from feeling useless.

Now, Samandriel and Charlotte were in the nursery that Cas and Dean had affectionately set up with some help from an over eager Sam. 

They were playing with a few stuffed animals that Dean and Cas had gone out of their way to choose specially for her. They had spent hours in five different toy stores debating over what Emily would like most.

Of course, Emily's favorite stuffed animals were her cats, but she was also very fond of a stuffed squirrel that she had, which - through Sam's insistence - became known to Emily as dadda. 

Emily was sitting down between Charlotte and Samandriel, who were each pretending to be one of the stuffed cats.

Emily giggled happily, taking her little squirrel and bumping it into Charlotte and Samandriel's cats.

They were like this when Cas and Dean came home, and for a moment, all they could do was watch.

Cas gave Dean's hand a tender squeeze before entering the room with Dean right by his side.

Emily looked up when she saw Cas and Dean, squealing in delight as she held her arms up in an attempt to signal that she wanted Cas to pick her up.

Cas smiled, nudging Dean as he bent down to the toy bin to grab a stuffed bunny. He sat down and pulled Emily onto his lap, playing with her, Charlotte, and Samandriel with a wide grin.

Dean joined with an affectionate murmur about what a dork Cas was,grabbing a small stuffed moose that as had gotten because he claimed it looked exactly like Sam. 

Together, they all sat and played with Emily in peace, simply enjoying the moment for what it was.

\----------------------------------------------------

“I should not have even come.” Claire glared at Dean in the doorway of the bunker, her arms folded indignantly over her chest.

“Hey, well you did, so now I have to apologize.” Dean awkwardly shuffled. “Look, I know that Cas and I should have told you, and I'm sorry we kept it from you, but I, uh, actually have a surprise for you.”

“I don't want your surprises. I told you I was done.” Claire harshly reminded him.

“I am back, Claire.” Castiel announced as he made his way to the doorway, a small smile on his face as he saw Claire once more.

Claire's eyes widened as she walked through the doorway almost out of instinct. She stopped all at once, still outside the bunker, as she remembered why she had been avoiding Dean in the first place. She folded her arms once more, standing angrily in the doorway. “Great. So you didn't tell me that you died, and you didn't tell me that you came back.”

“We did tell you. We're telling you right now. You haven't exactly been easy to find.” Dean huffed, moving in to stand defensively by Castiel's side.

“Wow. That's so generous of you.” Claire sarcastically snorted, drowning the temptation to just hug Castiel for being back.

“I wanted to protect you, Claire. I was dying. You were so troubled already that I did not wish to add to your burden.” Castiel calmly explained as he stepped in front of Dean unafraid of Claire's wrath.

“Right, well thanks.” Claire sarcastically snapped, taking a step forward to come face to face with Castiel. “I sure felt great when I found out about your funeral.”

“I am sorry, Claire. I never intended you to find out.” Castiel murmured, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Well I did!” Claire shouted, shoving Castiel's hand off of her as he face contorted in anger. “You took everything from me, Castiel! You took my parents, and then you and Dean had the nerve to act like you were taking their places. You made me get comfortable, and then you died without a warning, and I was never even supposed to know what I had lost. How is that okay? How is that supposed to help me?”

Castiel fell silent, only opening his mouth to respond after a prolonged period of silence.

As soon as he did, however, a loud burst of crying broke the air.

Castiel's head shot up, exchanging a silent glance with Dean as if deciding who was going to go take care of Emily.

“What's that?” Claire demanded, the anger beginning to fade from her tone as she looked around the bunker in an attempt to find the source of the noise. 

“A wailing siren.” Dean grumbled as he went down the bunker halls to get to the nursery.

Hesitant but curious, Claire followed Dean down the halls, finding that Castiel was not too far behind her.

When she came to the nursery, she found Dean holding Emily in his arms as he tickled her stomach, causing her cries to turn into giggles.

Claire stood dumbfounded in the doorway, silently staring at the interaction for a moment. “You adopted a kid?” She asked, trying to keep her tone disinterested.

“Not exactly.” Castiel vaguely answered, standing in the doorway next to Claire.

“Then what exactly?” Claire icily snapped back.

“She is like Charlotte in the sense that she is a portion of my grace.” Castiel explained, a smile emerging on his face as he saw Dean break out into a grin. 

“How long have you been back?” Claire asked in disbelief.

“Not very long. Emily was born… Before I died.” Castiel half lied.

“So you lied about another thing.” Claire snorted. “Surprising.”

Castiel did not answer, his eyes taking on a faraway look as he watched Dean and Emily.

“Hey, Emily, you want to meet your other big sister?” Dean asked the baby in his arms, turning around to bring Emily over to Claire.

Claire stared down at Emily, hesitating as Dean gently placed the baby in her arms. For a moment, all Claire could do was stare at her, and Emily stared back, making them have a silent staring contest. 

Emily giggled and reached up for Claire with her tiny hands.

“She wants you to give her one of your hands.” Dean explained, watching then with a small smile.

Claire bit her lip, lifting one of her hands to offer her pointer finger to the infant, who immediately latched onto it with a joyous giggle. 

“Could I… Could I come by and visit her?” Claire hesitantly asked, sounding almost embarrassed to be asking the question.

“You are always welcome here, Claire.” Castiel affectionately answered her from his perch in the doorway.

Claire glared at him slightly before turning her attention back towards the baby. “Not for you - either of you. You both lied to me, and I can't forgive you for that, but she didn't. She didn't do anything to me, and… She's not that bad.”

Castiel's gaze fell to the ground, hurt but understanding. “Yes. I understand. You can visit her whenever you please.”  
“Good.” Claire huffed, handing Emily back over to Dean and awkwardly turning to leave. She stopped, turning her head back around as if she wanted to go back and embrace her resurrected surrogate parent, but she continued on anyway, stalking away with dignity.

“She'll forgive us eventually, Cas.” Dean comforted him, placing a loving kiss on Castiel's forehead. “Don't worry.”

“I know, but it still hurts to see her in so much pain.” Castiel murmured, forcing a smile for Emily, who seemed upset by his sorrow.

Emily reached her hands out for Castiel as if trying to comfort him.

Castiel scooped her out of Dean's arms, rocking her back and forth in a soothing motion. 

“She just needs time. We all do. We'll be fine again soon.” Dean promised, sounding as if he was actually beginning to believe the statement. 

Maybe there was hope after all.

\----------------------------------------------------

Claire came to the bunker at least once a week. She visited often, and each time that she came, she became a little bit more receptive of Dean and Cas. She begrudgingly forgave Charlotte, who had little choice in keeping her in the dark. She spent time with Charlotte and Samandriel playing with Emily, and soon, she even laughed at Dean's jokes and accepted Castiel's offerings of pie and sweets. 

She never claimed to forgive them, and she never made any effort to be nice to them, but she gradually moved towards forgiveness.

One day while she was playing with Emily on the carpet, propping the baby up in her lap as she chewed in the ear of her stuffed bunny, Claire noticed some kind of glint in Castiel's eyes as he watched them - a glint that seemed almost loving.

“What?” She deadpanned, trying not to give into any form of kindness that might make Castiel feel as if he was forgiven.

“I am sorry, Claire.” Castiel simply answered. “After everything I have done, you deserved to know. I should not have tried to keep my illness from you, and I should have told you, Dean, and Charlotte about Emily prior to my death.”

“You didn’t tell Dean?” Claire inquired, her brows knitting together in confusion, ignoring Castiel’s apology entirely.

“No, I did not.” Castiel answered vaguely, trying to leave the topic at that.

“Why?” Claire persisted, not removing her gaze from Castiel as she waited for a response.

“Because…” Castiel began, his gaze falling briefly on Emily before it flickered away from guilt. “I owe you answers, Claire, and I am not about to deny you them, nor do I expect you to forgive me because of them if you would like to hear them.”

“I’m listening.” Claire grunted, adjusting the baby in her lap so that she could lean back and get comfortable.

“When I found out about Emily, I was ecstatic - nervous, but ecstatic. I had noticed little quirks in my grace and upon inspection, I discovered that my grace had begun to split once more. I kept her a secret from Dean for a while so that I could settle my own emotions before telling him, but when I was finally ready to reveal my secret and endure the overprotective coddling, I discovered that there was something drastically wrong. Ironically enough, the moment I opened my mouth to tell Dean after a hunt we had just had in which we were both nearly killed, I found my mouth filled with blood instead of joyous words. Now, this would not have been unusual considering we just came from a hunt, but my injuries had already been tended to, and Dean had more damage than I did. I had tried to heal him after the hunt, and I had only managed to half heal him. I managed to teleport us back to the bunker, but that took its vengeance on me quickly. I began to be concerned that hunts involving anything angelic would be a danger to Emily because she could only be harmed with an angel blade, and so I decided it was best to bring this to Dean’s attention, but the damage caught up to me. Dean was concerned, but I brushed it off as an injury. When I looked closer at my grace, I noticed the way that it was fading at a rapid rate. That silenced me for a while. I did not tell anyone. Gabriel found out, and he only pulled me into a hug and told me it would be okay and that we would make sure Emily was safe. We did. When I came to the conclusion that she would be better off elsewhere, Gabriel helped. Now, this conclusion was not easy to reach. There were so many times when I just wanted to tell Dean, or you, or Charlotte, or anyone… But I remained silent, and I can only begin to explain why…” He drifted off for a moment, his eyes gaining a far away look. “I had already begun to talk to Emily, which was foolish of me because she had not even developed her own form of thought yet, but I still did. Soon, it became a comfort. I knew that I would not live to see her grow up - say her first word, take her first steps… It became an immense burden. Watching as she drained the life out of me did more than kill me physically - it killed my spirit. I was giving everything I had to a child I would never know or never see, and that began to drive me insane. I did not want Dean to feel bad for me, and I especially was concerned about his mental state after my death. I assumed that after my death, he would not be able to care for a child, yet alone the one that killed me. I kept her a secret to save myself the pain of watching Dean try to come to terms with the fact that our child was soon to kill me. He would have tried to care for her, and it would not have ended well. I wanted what was best for her, and perhaps I was wrong. I wanted what was best for you, and I know that I was wrong there. I did not want you to suffer through that same thing. I knew that you had lost so much and that Dean and I were some of the only people that you still considered family. I could not allow you to lose me too. I had caused you so much pain… I had caused Emily the pain of getting to know me and then leaving. I caused Dean the pain of loving me and then watching as I went insane and withered away from pain. I had done too much, Claire. I did not want to hurt you too.”

Claire was silent for several moments before lowering her gaze, placing Emily back in the crib, and returning to Castiel to envelope him in a silent hug.

Castiel’s eyes were glossy with what seemed to be the beginnings of tears as he wrapped his arms around Claire, keeping her close to him and taking the moment in as Claire’s way of expressing forgiveness.

And just like that, Claire stopped being mad about the situation because she had come to terms with the decision, and she had found herself a newfound respect for Castiel.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

“I just don't understand what I did wrong!” 

“Sam, would you please explain to your brother why his actions are inappropriate.”

“I would, Cas, but I think he should figure this one out for himself.”

“What did I do?” 

“You know exactly what you did, Dean Winchester.”

“No, I don't!”

“Dean, you are not supposed to give children vodka!”

“It was just a taste to quiet her down! It's not like I gave her a baby bottle of whiskey or something!”

“Infants are not built to consume alcohol! I do not need her to become addicted as you did.”

“Yeah, because she's going to get addicted to droplets of vodka that she can barely taste!”

“She could!”

“No, she won't!”

“Sam, explain to your brother that he is being irresponsible.”

“No, Sam, tell Cas he's being ridiculous!”

Sam could only burst out in laughter as the two carried on bickering.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

It was Emily's second birthday, and everyone had gathered at the bunker to celebrate. 

Emily was seated on Castiel's lap at the table. She had a highchair, but she hardly used it because she did not like sitting away from Cas.

Everyone was gathered around the table, including the recently resurrected angels.

Hannah stood a little ways away from Castiel, watching them with a small smile.

Rachel was on the other side of the table, gently nudging Balthazar when he whispered something in her ear.

Gabriel had Abigail in his arms, grinning as he watched the cake come into the room.

“Please control yourself, Gabriel.” Korona muttered into his ear.

“Hey, I have some self control.” Gabriel defensively huffed.

“Since when?” Castiel quipped as he gently bounced Emily on his lap.

“Since always!” 

“Guys, keep your voices down. You're going to upset the kids.” Sam reminded them from his spot seated next to Cameron.

“Emily won't be upset as long as she's in Cassie’s lap.” Gabriel reminded him with a smirk.

“For once, I actually agree with you.” Dean scoffed as he brought the cake into room laying it down on the table.

“Come on, guys. We have to sing!” Gabriel waved his hands in the air, nearly sending Abigail out of his lap due to the sudden movement.

Korona quickly swooped in to take Abigail from him, holding her in her arms and shaking her head at Gabriel's excitement.

Gabriel began to lead the family in a terribly off pitch song, but it was endearing nonetheless.

“You all sound like screeching owls.” Balthazar commented as he rolled his eyes.

“Hey, we could sound worse.” Dean shrugged, turning his attention towards Emily and Cas with a wide smirk. “I guess she's too young to blow out candles yet.” He chuckled, looking at the unlit candles in the cake.

“I would rather her not be near fire at all.” Castiel informed him, carefully picking the candles out of the cake and putting them aside.

“Aw, that's no fun.” Gabriel whined.

“I do not understand how lighting small objects on fire just to blow them out is fun to anyone.” Hannah stated, her brow furrowed in confusion as she watched Castiel pull out the candles. 

“Hey, it's loads of fun.” Dean valiantly defended the tradition.

“I am sure it is,” Castiel gently agreed with him. “But Emily Grace is too young for it yet.”

“Hey, well she's definitely too young for cake, but you made one anyway.” Gabriel pointed out with a smirk.

“That was because you insisted you would only come if there was cake.” Castiel deadpanned.

Everyone at the table except for Emily and Abigail snapped their attention towards Gabriel.

“What?” Gabriel's eyes widened at the sudden attention. “I was kidding!”

“That is not unbelievable.” Charlotte piped up.

“Gabriel is always kidding. He doesn't have a serious bone in his body.” Balthazar agreed with an amused tone.

“Neither do you! You can't go five minutes without making an overly sarcastic remark.”

“At least I'm funny.”

“Please, I'm the king of comedy.”

“You're as much the king of comedy as Dean is king of emotional expression.”

“Hey, I am perfectly open about my feelings!”

This time, both Gabriel and Balthazar turned on Dean.

“Oh please, you're so emotionally constipated that they probably invented a medication for it that they named after you.” Balthazar scoffed.

“Yeah, you're as open as a bolted and barricaded door.” Gabriel added on.

“Guys, you're right,” Sam cut them off, earning a disbelieving glare from Dean. “But we're here to celebrate.”

“Sam is right.” Castiel agreed, glancing lovingly down at Emily. 

“Okay then, let's celebrate!” Gabriel cheered.

After that, they all sat together and ate. They laughed together, and they simply enjoyed each other's presence. It seemed that peace had finally come their way.

\----------------------------------------------------

Castiel watched the scene with a raised eyebrow. 

Dean and Sam were both seated at the small table that Cas had handmade for Emily that was now in her room with several cushions on the floor.

Dean had on a shiny tiara and a bright purple tutu. There was a smear of lipstick across his mouth and cheek, and he had puffs of blue eyeshadow on his eyelids. He sipped from a small,empty tea cup.

Across from him, Sam was seated, hunched over the small table. The cup looked even smaller in his gigantic hand. He had on long, pink boa and a wide grin as he held his cup out for Emily to pour some more imaginary tea into it.

“Hewe wou go, Unca Sammy!” Emily energetically poured the tea, holding the pot over the cup for an extended period of time. “Ah, it's spiwing!” She shrieked. 

“What? Oh no!” Dean matched her volume, snatching the boa from around Sam's neck and using it clean up the imaginary spill. 

“Yay! It's aww cwean!” Emily cheered as she clapped her hands together.

“Now I'm not pretty.” Sam faked a frown, recalling the fact that Emily had dressed him and Dean up earlier to make them 'look pretty.’

“Wou aways pwetty, Unca Sammy.” Emily assured him with a large hug.

“Of course he is,” Dean smirked, giving Sam a devious look. “Uncle Sammy is just naturally pretty, but I think a little bit of lipstick might make him look prettier, don't you think?”

“Yes!” Emily quickly agreed, fumbling around in the costume bin for her bright red little lipstick. “Dis one and we can put on gwittah too!”

“Hmm,” Dean examined Sam's face before pulling out the glitter and opening it up, taking a chunk and dusting it into Sam's hair. “Wise choice.”

“Yay, gwittah!” Emily squealed, taking some of the glitter to slather it on Sam's face while sloppily slathering on the lipstick. 

“May I join you?” Castiel half smirked as he finally entered the room just as Emily had thrown a handful of glitter onto Dean's face.

“Mama!” Emily's eyes lit up as she stood up and ran to Castiel, tackle hugging his legs.

“I'll take that as a yes.” Castiel chuckled, bending down to lift Emily up into his arms with a bit of effort. “Did you have fun with Daddy and Uncle Sammy?”

“Mhm. We had so much fun!” Emily reported with an energetic nod.

“Sit down, Cas. Have some tea.” Dean half smirked as he motioned for Cas to join them.

“Shall we?” Castiel asked his daughter, turning to face her.

“Yes!” Emily agreed, wrapping her arms around Castiel's neck and running her glittered covered fingers through his hair. “Can I sit in youw wap?”

“Of course.” Castiel agreed with a breathy laugh, sitting down and adjusting Emily onto his lap. “You all look very beautiful.” He commented with a straight face.

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean grinned, pretending to pour Cas a cup of tea. “There you go.”

“Thank you.” Castiel accepted the cup with a grateful smile.

“You need sugah!” Emily declared, taking many spoonfuls of imaginary sugar and dumping them into Castiel's tea.

“Well, I do appreciate a sweet cup of tea.” Castiel agreed with a perfectly straight face.

“So sweet that you get diabetes.” Sam murmured under his breath.

Dean chuckled, shaking his head lightly. “I think it's fitting. Sweet tea for my little sweethearts.”

“Daddy’s silly.” Emily giggled before nudging Castiel's hand with the tea cup up towards his mouth. “Mama, you gotta dwink yo tea now.”

“Okay,” Castiel gave in, lifting the cup to his mouth and taking a sip from the invisible liquid. “Mmm. That is rather sweet. It is the best tea I have ever had.”

“Thank you, Mama!” Emily hugged Cas once more, squeezing him tightly and pressing her face into his chest.

“You are quite welcome.” Castiel kissed her on the top of the head. “Now,” He set his cup down, looking back down at Emily for a moment. “May I have some more tea, please?”

 

\----------------------------------------------------

It was Mother's Day in the bunker, and while Dean was not quick to celebrate, Emily was.

Emily came home from school, showing Dean the card that she made for Cas.

Initially, Dean wanted to chuckle because even though Emily called Cas 'Mama,’ he had never really envisioned them celebrating Mother's Day for Cas. It was at that moment that he reminded himself that in the modern world, gender roles were not rigid and that Cas was not the only person who identified as gender neutral. Although, the case was slightly different because Castiel used to be an angel, but at least he was not alone in his denial of gender confinement.

So maybe it should not have been a surprise. Castiel never cared what pronouns people used. He never batted an eyelash when they were out in public and people have him disapproving looks when Emily called him 'Mama.’ He honestly could not have cared less. His identity was not of their concern.

Emily did not seem bothered by it either. She readily referred to Cas as her mother without him even prompting her to.

Soon, Dean just accepted it for what it was. Cas was just Cas, not male, not female, not anything in between - he was just Castiel like he always had been.

“What're we gonna do for Mama?” Emily asked him as she hid her card back in her backpack so that Cas would not find it. “It's Mama's special day tomorrow.”

“Uh, well… Something special.” Dean decided, trying to cover up the fact that he had not yet planned anything. 

“What is it?!” Emily bounced up and down, eager to hear what they were doing for her beloved parent.

“A secret. We can't let Mama know.” Dean hushed her, mentally taking his mind for some idea.

“Okay.” Emily whispered, her voice still bubbling with excitement. “Are Sammy and Char going to help us?”

“Oh yeah. They are in on the plan.” Dean lied, still trying to come up with a plan.

“Tell me!” Emily squealed, her excitement getting the best of her.

“Okay.” Dean lowered his voice to a whisper. “So we're going to make Mama some breakfast in bed, and then we're going to take him out to get a special gift.”

“Is it a kitty?” Emily prompted with shining eyes.

“Uh… Yeah. It is. He, um, gets to pick it out.” Dean cringed, knowing that his allergies were going to be mad at him for giving in to that one.

“Yay!” Emily cheered, running around in an excited circle. “Kitty!”

Castiel poked his head into the room, raising an eyebrow as he saw Emily running around in a circle. He exchanged an amused glance with Dean before turning away and pretending that he did not know what they were planning.

“Shh…” Dean hushed her, putting his hands on her shoulders to try and stop her from running around again. “It's got to be a secret.”

“Okay.” Emily nodded, shutting her lips tightly into a line. 

“Good, now let's get planning.”

In the end, they made Cas a breakfast that was only slightly burnt. Emily helped to make the pancakes, so they were slightly deformed, but she was able to present a nice bowl of fruit successfully. 

Cas was more than grateful, and he seemed genuinely surprised and touched by the effort.

He was beyond gratitude when they took him to buy the cat. 

Castiel fell in love with all of them, and he had to ask the three angels to help him decide which ones to take.

Emily picked a white kitten with black and brown spots, which she affectionately named 'Bubba.’

Castiel, with the help of Charlotte and Samandriel, picked a small gray kitten that was mischievous and energetic. They unanimously decided that Balthazar was a fitting name.

They took them home, Balthazar in Castiel's lap, Bubba in Emily's, and a bottle of allergy medicine in Dean's.

After a while, Dean decided that even it was going to be a pain, it was worth it. After all, the smile on Castiel's face was worth more than anything in the world.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

Christmas was a special time at the bunker. Things were chaotic in the morning.

Emily was awake at four in the morning, jumping up and down on her parents's bed, trying to nudge them awake. “Mama! Daddy! Come on!”

“Let them sleep a little while longer, Emily.” Charlotte chided.

“Come on, Emily.” Samandriel urged as he pulled Emily up from under her armpits and taking her off the bed.

“But I'm alweady awake!” Emily protested.

“I know, but humans need to sleep.” Samandriel reminded her.

“It is okay, Samandriel. We are already awake now.” Castiel waved off Samandriel's concern as he pushed himself up in the bed.

“Yay!” Emily cheered, immediately running back onto the bed to wrap her arms around Castiel in an excited embrace.

“Speak for yourself.” Dean sleepily grumbled. “I'm still sleeping.”

“Daddy, wake up.” Emily order, turning from Castiel to shake Dean by the shoulder. 

“Come on, Dean. You are awake now. You can sleep later.” Castiel urged him as he slid out of the bed, craning his neck to stretch as he slid on his cat slippers.

“Ugh, fine. Just because it's Christmas.” Dean grunted as he rolled over.

Emily squealed as she ran to join Cas, taking his hand and dragging him towards the door.

Dean joined them soon, and after a few minutes of just trying to calm Emily down enough to get her to sit in one place for more than two seconds, they sat down around the tree which they had all picked out together and found themselves in a strangely peaceful situation. They were together, and yet there was no pain, only smiles, jokes, and joy. 

\----------------------------------------------------

Screams radiated throughout the bunker. Fear and panic filled the air, leaving the atmosphere thick and heavy.

Castiel and Dean were up and out of their bed in an instant, hunter instincts still sharp as they ran to Emily's room.

Emily was having what almost looked like a seizure, her body contorting grotesquely in pain. Her small frame seemed so fragile and disjointed as if each of her limbs had been taken off and screwed in the wrong way.

Her screams and cries came out in incoherent muttering as she tossed and turned fitfully.

“Emily…” Castiel hoarsely whispered,trying to make himself move to comfort her, but he found that he had no strength. With as much force as he could manage, he stepped into the room, nudging his daughter awake with caution.

Emily sprang upwards, her light green eyes wide with fear. She mumbled out something else in Enochian as Cas pulled her in for a hug.

Dean swooped into the scene, guiding them both out of the room as Cas carried Emily, leading them back into their bed.

“It was only a nightmare, Emily - nothing more. You're okay now. You're awake.” Castiel comforted as he brushed the stray hair out of her face, his tender touch calming her down.

“No.” Emily shook her head, her usually upbeat tone small and distressed. “My dweams come twue. Don't die, Mama. Please don't die.” She whimpered, burying her face into Castiel's chest as if trying to assure herself that he was still there.

“Die?” Castiel echoed, exchanging a nervous and concerned glance with Dean. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

It was not a secret that Emily's nightmares and dreams often came true. She would often be plauged with horrifying foreboding images, but this was only one of her powers, which manifested itself in this way. However, this only made the statement concerning death more concerning.

“You and Daddy…” Emily broke off, fresh tears streaming down her face. “Died… Killed fighting monstahs… Don't die. Please don't die.”

“We won't.” Castiel assured her, laying her down in the bed between him and Dean. “We're right here. We're not going anywhere.”

“Don't worry, kid.” Dean chipped in as he settled down into the bed once more. “We're here to stay.”

“Pwomise?” Emily looked from Dean to Cas with wide, tear filled eyes.

“Promise.” Dean and Cas said simultaneously.

Dean wiped the tears off of Emily's face before wrapping his arms delicately around Cas with Emily comfortably in between them.

There, Emily felt safe. She knew that both her parents were fine with the assurance of their steady heartbeats, and that became her safety. Emily would have that same nightmare until the day that it came true, and even then it haunted her for a different reason, but every time that she had it, she would always find her comfort in her parents's arms. 

\----------------------------------------------------

“I don't know what to do, Gabriel.” Castiel confessed to his older brother, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I cannot do anything to help her.”

“Yeah, you're not the only one who feels that way.” Gabriel sympathetically agreed.

“What did we do, Gabriel?” Castiel forced the question out, his gaze squinted upwards at the sky as they sat in the expanse of field. 

“I wish I could tell you,” Gabriel murmured. “But I can't. I don't know anymore. I wanted to have a child with the woman that I love, and now… She's in so much pain, and it's all my fault for being so selfish.”

“You could not have predicted this would happen.” Castiel absently assured him. 

“I should have.” Gabriel grumbled. “I guess we really just can't have happy families then, huh?”

“We are happy.” Castiel contradicted him. “Emily is pained, but we love her, and that alone makes her happy, and seeing her makes Dean and I both very happy.”

“How has she been?” Gabriel curiously asked, leaning forward in interest.

“She has nightmares frequently, and they often come true. Sometimes they become so intense that she screams in Enochian and writhes in pain.” Castiel explained with a far away look. “She continuously has one where Dean and I die, and at first Dean and I went in and one of us carried her to our bed for her to be assured that we were fine, but now she comes in on her own about once a week after having that nightmare.”

“Yikes.” Gabriel raised his eyebrows, his eyes filling with concern for his niece despite his casual tone.

“How is Abigail?” Castiel redirected the topic, clearly unsettled by talking about his daughter's condition.

“Not any better. She… Her halves keep fighting each other, and it's getting harder for her to control. It's like she's two different people at the same time sometimes, and I… I can't do anything about it. I can't do a single thing to help her.” Gabriel's eyes locked downwards, his voice dropping with them.

“I understand. I am sorry that she is in so much pain. I only wish there was something we could do.”

“There's not. All we can do is try and be there for them, and maybe they'll be there for each other.” Gabriel pointed out with a beat of hope. Maybe they'll be fine after all.

\----------------------------------------------------

“See? It’s not that hard. Just aim like so and… Take a shot.” 

“Okay. I can do it.” Emily nodded, aiming the gun at the target as her father stood back to watch and make sure that she was doing everything correctly.

She took the shot, sending the bullet flying several feet away from the target. “Oops!” She giggled, taking a break from the gun to allow herself time to laugh. “That didn't work at all!”

“You'll get the hang of it. You've just got to keep trying.” Dean calmly instructed.

“Okay!” Emily cheerfully agreed, taking aim to take another way off shot.

“Dean, she is only eight years old. I would appreciate her not handling a gun.” Castiel commented from the doorway, watching Emily with evident concern.

“She has to learn, Cas. She can't control her powers. If anything bad happens, I want her to have a reliable way of protecting herself.” Dean defended, moving in to take the gun from Emily and getting into a position to shoot.

“She would not need another method if we teach her to control her powers instead of fear them.” Castiel pointed out with a sharp edge to his tone.

“Yeah, well you're not even an angel anymore, Cas, so I don't think either of us are equipped to do that.” Dean shot back.

“Stop! Don't fight.” Emily cut in. “I'll do both. I'll learn how to shoot, and I'm going to learn how to use my powers.”

“Good.” Dean resolved, taking aim at the target once more. “Now, watch me, and then you can try again.”

Dean fired the gun, the bullet landing effortlessly in the head of the target. “Now, can you try and do that? Do exactly what I did.”

“Absolutely!” Emily chimed as she snatched the gun from Dean's hand and repositioned herself, her body still jumping up and down as she fired the gun. “Did I do it?!” She asked, overly eager as she follow the track of the bullet only to find that it was once more no where near the target. “Aw, come on.” She grumbled, kicking the floor with a small pout. “Well, that was an unlucky shot. Time for another one!”

“Emily, can you take a break while I talk to your father for a minute?” Castiel gently asked, turning to leave the room when Emily nodded.

Emily waited until both of her parents had left the room before fiddling with the gun. “Take a break...Yeah, I'm not taking a break until I hit that target.” She rebelliously grumbled as she held the gun up once more to shoot, missing once again.

Castiel pulled Dean out into the hallway, staring into his eyes with a deep sense of regret. “I am sorry, Dean. I know that you want what is best for her, and so do I. You are right. She has no control over her powers, but that is a problem. We cannot treat her like some time bomb waiting to go off. She is a child - no, she is our child. She deserves to be treated with love and respect. We need her to be safe and accepted for who she is, and that means trying to help her learn how to control her powers so she does not have to be afraid of them.”

“Okay, I get that, Cas. I really do.” Dean murmured, taking Castiel's hand into his own. “I'm sorry for snapping at you. I know she's going to have to learn how to use them, but they scare me, Cas. They scare her too. Everytime she tries to use them, it turns out wrong, and she's afraid that she's going to hurt someone. I don't want her to go through that all the time.”

“I understand that, Dean, but the more she uses them, the less often that will happen. I promise that with time, her nightmares will go away, and she will be able to use her powers as she pleases.” 

“Okay. I can deal with that.” Dean agreed, but he was cut off as he heard the sound of gunshots. “Hey!” He yelled, storming away from Cas and into the shooting range. 

Castiel followed Dean, irritated but a great deal calmer as they went to scold their daughter.

Emily was midshot when Dean spun her around in his anger, causing the half pulled trigger to slide and send the bullet flying straight towards Cas.

Castiel's eyes widened as the bullet landed in his chest, his shocked blue eyes focused on nothing in particular as his legs gave out, crumbling beneath him and sending him to the floor.

“Cas!” Dean bellowed, forgetting Emily and the gun and rushing over to the ex-angel, propping him up in his arms. “Cas, baby, please don't do this.” He desperately whimpered, holding Castiel's face in his hands.

“Mama!” Emily dropped the gun, rushing forth to Castiel's side with an expression of pure panic. “I'm sorry, Mama. I didn't mean to…” 

“It is… Okay… Emily.” Castiel coughed out, his energy quickly fading.

“No, Mama, no…” Emily murmured, holding Castiel close to her and sobbing into his chest as she clutched desperately onto his shirt.

In a moment, Emily's eyes glowed a dull gray. She moved almost as if she was not in control of her actions, her hands lifting and healing Castiel without even batting an eyelash, her hand raising and crushing, causing Dean to double over in pain, and blood dripped down Emily's eyes.

“Emily!” Castiel shouted in distress as he saw Dean's state. “Stop!” He moved in front of Emily, placing his hands on her shoulders to try and reach her. “Emily, you must stop. You are hurting yourself and Daddy.”

“M-mama?” Emily asked, blinking back into reality and gasping in horror as she saw the pained state that Dean was in. “Daddy?” 

“Shh,” Castiel wrapped her in his arms, holding her as she cried, glancing back at Dean with concern.

Dean stood up on slightly shaky legs, wiping the blood from his mouth and silently watching Cas and Emily with nothing but shock.

Emily cried in Cas's arms until she fell asleep, and then Cas carried her to her bed, tucking her in with great care before leaving to find Dean, who was being tended to by Charlotte.

“I am sure she did not mean to hurt you, Father.” Charlotte consoled him after removing her fingers from his forehead.

“Yeah, well she certainly didn't hesitate.” Dean scoffed, looking up when Cas entered the room. “What the hell was that?”

“I don't know.” Castiel honestly answered, glancing over at Charlotte and wondering if she should even be present for the conversation.

“What's that supposed to mean? She nearly just killed all three of us, and you have no idea what happened?” Dean incredulously snapped.

“Father, please try to have some patience. Emily's powers are unpredictable. We can only try and understand them.” Charlotte gently reminded him, turning her gaze up to Castiel as if asking him to provide some sort of insight.

“Well, shooting me was an accident. If Dean had not tried to take the gun from her, I would not have been shot. After that, I believe her reaction may have been an instinct for revenge. Since both Dean and Emily were responsible for my injury, her powers targeted them both. I do not believe she was even aware that she was harming anyone.” Castiel thoughtfully concluded.

“So… What? She's going to go all berserk whenever you get hurt?”

“Yes, most likely. While she does have a natural dependency on me, she also cares greatly for both of you and Samandriel. I imagine the same may happen under those circumstances.” 

“Crap…” Dean grumbled under his breath. “There's not anything we can do about this then?”

“No. I do not think there is.” Castiel honestly answered, hoping that one day, there would be an answer.

\----------------------------------------------------

Emily was propped up on her elbows while reading a lore book from the bunker’s extensive library. Every minute she would stop and stare at some spot on the wall or become fixated on anything other than reading due to her short attention span.

Emily hated being pulled from school. So many of the kids were awful to her, but there were a few that she liked. Besides, she hated being locked up with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Her parents were made at her for fighting at school, and she tried to explain that her peers had been mocking her parents, but Castiel had insisted that it was still inappropriate make a threat out of smiting someone and engaging in physical combat. Dean was mostly just mad that anyone had said some of the things they had about Cas and that they would hurt Emily the way that they did.

Emily had managed to heal herself out of instinct when she got home, but the bruises all along her arms and face were proof enough that she had gotten into a physical fight. She later explained that the boy she fought with was twice her size and that she stood her ground very well. Although, the bruises on her face told a different story.

Emily was always hesitant to tell the truth, but this was especially true when she lost in a fight. She had as much pride as Dean did, which Cas relentlessly commented upon and groaned about, but what was even worse was that she was more rash and reckless. She jumped into fights without even thinking for a moment, and once she had started one, she was determined to see it out, which did not always end well for her.

Now, she was in her room, locked away from all civilization while Dean and Cas went out with Samandriel and Charlotte to go for a hunt without her, which she personally found extremely aggravating. Dean had told her that she could help them with research, and then Cas had muttered something about how she would be too flighty to do that, and Emily now decided that he was quite right.

In the midst of her groaning, Emily was distracted by the sound of the bunker door opening. She perked up, a smile spreading across her face as she threw the book aside, sending it flying onto the floor with a thud. She flung her door open, rushing out and nearly running right into a wall. “Opps!” She recoiled from the wall, turning quickly and rushing back down the hall in the hopes of seeing her family back from a hunt. “Mama! Dad! I didn’t think you’d be back so quickly. I guess you guys are still as awesome as ever!” She called as she neared the entrance to the bunker, stopping herself completely as she was met with an entirely different figure than that of any member of her family.

“Well, I am fairly awesome, but I don’t think flattery is going to get you much of anywhere.” The girl in the doorway casually commented, taking a few nonchalant steps down towards Emily.

“I know you!” Emily pointed at the girl as she approached. “You go to the school I just left!”

“Bingo, and you left because you’re an angel… Or a hybrid. I’m not sure yet, but either way, you’re fairly cute.” The girl smirked, taking in the sight of the bunker with a hint of interest. “Nice place you got here. It’s a Men of Letters bunker. I haven’t seen one of these in a while.”

“How do you know all of that?” Emily asked with a hint of excitement, finding herself staring at the intruder with wonder.

“I’ve done my share of research on you. I thought I might have to take you out if you were some kind of monster. I did some digging. Turns out your parents are the renowned hunter Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel. Also,” The girl commented with a quirked eyebrow. “You’re harmless unless provoked, and honestly, I don’t think you have any control over whatever powers you have, and by the looks of your fights at school, you’re not really that dangerous, but I thought I’d follow you here and check the place out and maybe you too.” Sher winked directly at Emily, taking a few more casual steps into the bunker.

“You’re a hunter!” Emily practically squealed. “Oh my gosh. Can we be friends? Please, I don't have friends, and you seem so cool, and you’re really pretty, and I talk a lot, and people think that’s annoying, and my Mama says that I am a handful, and my dad tells me to take a chill pill, and they love me, and they’re great, but so are you. I mean, you’re so calm, and you seem really really awesome, and you are gorgeous, and I don't even know your name. Oh my gosh. You have to tell me your name!”

“Relax, love. All in good time. The name’s Angela Myers.” Angela simply answered, beginning to venture down the halls as if she owned the place. “So let’s start with what you are.”

“A nephilim, but Mama doesn’t like that word, so we don’t use it. I don't mind though. You can call me whatever you want.” Emily urged, her gaze focused on Angela as she followed her down the halls.

“Huh, that’s pretty cool.” Angela shrugged, poking her head into a few of the rooms.

“Yeah, I am so cool.” Emily chuckled, her nervous energy fluttering about the air.

“Of course, love.” Angela turned back to offer her a grin before stopping in front of the library doors. She opened them, stepping slowly inside and moving towards the shelves to examine the books.

“This is the library. I think it’s kind of boring because I don’t like to read, but my cats like it in here, and I guess it has a lot of important information in it, so I guess it’s okay.” Emily rambled.

“Not bad.” Angela huffed, pulling a book off the shelf and holding it up. “Mind if I borrow this?”

“Oh sure. You can take anything you want.” Emily waved off the question without even thinking about the resources she was letting be taken. 

“Thanks, love.” Angela shoved the book into her bag that was slung over her shoulder, turning away from the bookshelf now and staring at Emily. “It’s a pretty nice place, but I think the best sight to see here is not this library.” She flirted, leaning in towards Emily.

“Oh, yeah. I think it’s definitely the shooting range. It’s pretty nice down there. I mean, I’m not very good at shooting, but it’s fun to try.” Emily missed the flirtation completely, only realizing what was going on when Angela chuckled and leaned in to kiss her.

“Oh my gosh. That is… Yes. You are… Yes.” Emily fumbled for words, leaning back into to crash her lips back into Angela’s.

They were only like that for a few minutes before Dean barged in searching for Emily, his expression morphing from shock to anger in seconds. “Emily Grace Winchester, what do you think you’re doing?!” He yelled, storming into the room in sheer anger.

“Oops.” Emily blurted out as she pulled away from Angela.

“Hey. Mr. Winchester. Nice meeting you, but I’ve got places to be.” Angela waved at Dean, placing another kiss on Emily’s mouth before turning to leave. “I’ll see you around, love.” She called, pushing past Dean and strolling down the halls.

Dean looked from Emily to Angela and the back again as if deciding which of them he was supposed to scold first, but the sound of the bunker door shutting eliminated that decision, causing him to turn swiftly towards Emily. “Who was she and what was she doing here?” Dean sharply demanded.

“A friend who was keeping me company.” Emily retorted with her arms indignantly folded.

“Friends don’t make out with each other!” 

“So maybe we’re a little bit more than friends!”

“No, you are not dating anyone. I don’t care that you’re gay or whatever, but I still don’t want you dating. You’re only sixteen, and you are not ready for it yet.”

“I’m not gay, Daddy.” Emily rolled her eyes. “I’m bi. You know, like you.”

Dean blushed, opening his mouth to protest when Cas joined them and shook his head in amusement. 

“She is right, Dean.” He chided.

“Yeah, okay, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s not ready yet.” Dean huffed.

“You may be right about that…” Castiel agreed, watching as Emily’s face fell completely.

“Mama, please, I think she’s really great, and she’s one of the only kids who is actually nice to me.” Emily pleaded.

“Emily Grace, I do not believe that you should be dating before you have your powers under control.” Castiel moved forwards, placing his hands comfortingly on her shoulders.

“I can control them, Mama. I’m just so lonely. I need to be around kids my age, and Angela understands. She’s a hunter and an awesome one at that.” Emily protested with a small enamored smile as she thought about Angela once more.

“She’s a hunter?” Dean protectively demanded. “What if she finds out what you are?”

“Dean.” Castiel sent his husband a small glare for the insensitive comment.

“She knows what I am,” Emily retorted. “And she doesn't care. She’s cool with it.”

“What if she’s lying?” Dean insisted.

“She’s not.”

“How would you know?”

“Because I can read her. Why don’t you trust me?”

“Maybe because you lie all the time.”

“So do you!”

“Not as much as you do!”

“You lied to me about my own birth, so I don’t think you have a right to talk!”

“Emily. Dean.” Castiel pulled the two of them apart. “Emily, go to your room. I will talk to you in a bit. Dean, stay here.”

Emily stormed off out of the room, heading for her bedroom with an indignant huff.

“What?” Dean breathed out in annoyance. “She can’t date, Cas. She’s too young yet.”

“Dean, she’s growing up. You have to accept that.”

“What if she gets hurt?” Dean whispered, his gaze falling to the ground and the fight draining out of him.  
“Dean, we will protect her. You don’t have to worry.” Castiel assured him as he brushed his fingers along Dean’s cheek.

“What if we’re not enough?”

“We will be. I promise, Dean. We are going to take care of her no matter what.”

“Okay.” Dean softly gave in. “I believe you, but I’m definitely going to have to meet this girl again before we let them date.”

“Of course.” Castiel smirked. “I would expect nothing less from the overprotective Dean Winchester.”

“Good because you’d be wrong to do so.” Dean quipped.

“That is what I thought.” Castiel hummed, placing an affectionate kiss on Dean’s cheek before leading him out of the library to go and talk to their daughter. Hopefully, between the two of them, she would be fine.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

“You're parents are the strictest people alive.” Angela chuckled, making the statement out to the open sky.

“Oh yeah, they're wicked strict,” Emily agreed with an energetic nod. “But they just want what's best for me. I don't think they really know what's best for me though. I mean, Mama likes you okay, but Daddy isn't really crazy about you. He's so controlling. I had to sneak out to be here with you tonight.”

“I'm glad you did, love. It's a beautiful night.” Angela stated as she took in all the stars above them as they lying side by side on a hillside.

“It is, but I just like being with you actually. Stars are stars. They're there every night. You are so much prettier than the stars and so rarer too. You're one of a kind.” Emily rambled once more, earning a kiss from Angela to silence her.

“You talk too much.” Angela chided. “Just enjoy the moment.”

“Sorry. I talk a lot. I guess it's kind of a thing I do, and I guess that's why so many people don't like me. I guess I'm probably pretty annoying-” Emily began to rant once more, stopping herself when Angela pulled her in and kissed her once more.

“Relax. I think you're rambling is adorable.” Angela assured her with a teasing smirk.

Emily blushed, stunned into silence for a solid moment. “Thanks.” Was the only response that she actually managed.

“Hey, you stopped talking. I guess miracles are real.” Angela joked, earning a light punch from Emily.

“Aw, now that's just mean.” Emily pouted.

“Sorry, love. I don't mean it like that.” Angela assured her, lifting Emily's chin up back to the stars.

“I know you don't. You're really nice to me, Ange. Why is that?” Emily tilted her slightly to look at the dark haired girl.

“I don't know. Being cruel to people is a waste of energy. Besides, I think you're parents are pretty cool. Kids are stupid for saying otherwise. You're one special kid, and they're too blind to see it. It's their loss honestly.”

“I don't think they see it that way.” Emily added with a small frown. “They just see that I'm different and that my family is unconventional. They don't like that Mama doesn't identify with either gender despite being human now, and they don't like that he's with Daddy, and I'm just… Weird in all kinds of ways. I tell myself they're good, but what if I'm just a freak who can't even control the powers I've been given?”

“Don't talk like that.” Angela ordered, pulling Emily in closer to her. “It hurts to hear you get all sad. You're too optimistic for all that talk. Kids are the worst, but they don't matter. You're parents are so cool, and so are your siblings, but you are amazing. You're funny, beautiful, and so energetic. You're amazing, love.”

Emily giggled, cuddling into Angela and closing her eyes. “Okay. I guess I believe you.” She chuckled at her own joke as she opened her eyes once more to look at the sky. As soon as she opened her mouth to say something else, her phone rang. “Oops.” She murmured, pulling her phone out to see that both of her parents had tried to call her several times. “Oh no. They're gonna kill me. I've gotta go! I'll see you later!”

Emily stood up all at once, trying to teleport and finding that it luckily worked that time, causing her to disappear in a matter of seconds.

Angela say up and shook her head, staring at the spot where Emily used to be and whispered in soft voice, “Goodbye, love.” 

 

\----------------------------------------------------

“And would you mind telling us where you've been?” Dean demanded when Emily walked through the bunker door.

“On a case.” Emily half lied. After all, she had Angela had worked a case before they went out onto the field.

“Alone?” Castiel demanded from his spot at Dean's side.

“Well, yeah, I mean, I've got all sorts of powers. I'm totally fine.” Emily shrugged, taking a few steps into the bunker.

“No way. You can't even control them yet. You cannot be out hunting alone.” Dean ordered, standing in her way of getting any farther into the bunker.

“I'm fine. I don't even have one scratch.” Emily protested with a dramatic wave of her arms.

“You probably healed yourself before coming home.” Castiel pointed out with narrowed eyes.

“I wasn't even badly hurt! I'm old enough to do this, Mama!” Emily sharply countered.

“No, you're not!” Dean butted in. “And you know why?! Because we say you're not. You're too young and unstable yet!”

“I'm not the one who's unstable! At least I don't drink myself to sleep every night!” Emily snapped, her brutally honest words spilling forth without thought.

“You don't know what the hell you're talking about.” Dean defensively grumbled.

“I do because I've seen it. Whenever something is tough, you drink to forget it. That's unstable. I've figured myself out. Angela is helping me to figure myself out. I'm put together. Don't put that on me.” Emily unintentionally rambled, pushing past Dean and storming down the hallway and into her room.

After only a minute or so, the expected knock came on the door and Castiel entered the room, sitting down on Emily's bed to be by her side.

“You were with Angela tonight on that hunt, weren't you?” Castiel gently asked, not even phrasing the question as such but more as a statement. “I know you like her, Emily. I like her too. I believe she is good for you. However, you should not have taken off with her without permission, and you should not have said what you did to your father. He is a troubled man, Emily. His problems run deep, and that only brought them up.”

“I know. I'm sorry, Mama. I know you want to keep tabs on me, but I just want to be who I am without restrictions. I want to be with Angela, but I don't want to lose you and Daddy. I'm sorry about what I said to him.” Emily mumbled, leaning into Castiel as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“You are honest about all the wrong things and dishonest about the others,” Castiel chided. “But you can talk to him and he will forgive you.”

“I will.” Emily decided, hugging Castiel before getting up to find Dean, who was not far off, standing where she had left him.

“I'm sorry, Daddy. I know I spoke out of turn, and it was cruel of me to say that because I know that you had trouble when Mama died, and I know that was all my fault, and I know that I've only caused you pain, and I'm sorry, Daddy.” Emily broke off, tears forming in her eyes. “I'm so sorry.”

Dean quickly pulled her in for a hug, wrapping her up in his arms without a word as he rubbed gentle circles into her back as she cried into his shoulder. “It wasn't your fault, kid. You never did anything. You're a miracle. Don't forget that.”

“I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, Em.”

\----------------------------------------------------

When she found it, an ominous chill ran down her spine.

Emily stood with the note in hand as the terrible feeling that something bad had happened to her parents. Pain began to well within her and spread throughout her body.

She scanned the note over once more, reading it while panicking.

Out on a hunt. We'll be back soon. Love you.

Mama and Daddy

Emily shook her head, letting the note fall onto the ground. No. It all seemed to be falling into place, allowing her nightmare to come true. 

She silently willed herself to teleport, praying that her powers would comply. The pain only built inside of her as she tried to teleport, but nothing came from her attempts.

It took several minutes before she was finally able to disappear and reappear where she assumed they would be based on instinct.

Unfortunately for her it was too late. As soon as she appeared, she found that her parents were already lying dead on the floor.

“Daddy?” She croaked, looking from Dean's rigid body and then to Castiel's, which was right next to Dean's, lying side by side. “Mama?”

She ran forward, pulling Castiel up until her arms as she crumpled to the ground. “Mama.” She choked out between tears. “Mama, Daddy, please.” She murmured incoherently as she sobbed onto Castiel’s body.

“Mama, mama, mama…” She whispered over and over again, only stopping when she realized that she was being pulled away.

“It's okay, Emily.” Samandriel hushed her as he pulled her away from their parents.

“No! Don't take me from them! I need them! Mama! Daddy!” She tried to desperately break free from Samandriel's arms, reaching out for her parents.

“They're gone, Emily.” Samandriel softly told her, pulling her further away from them. “It's going to be okay. I'm here now.”

“Mama.” Emily sobbed, falling into Samandriel's arms and crying into his chest.

Samandriel held her for what seemed like hours, just rubbing comforting circles in her back, feeling lost without his adopted parents.

Honestly, he was just as lost as Emily.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

“Uncle Gabe, please. You have to let me see them.” Emily begged, her wide pleading eyes focused on Gabriel.

“No can do, kiddo. You're part human. If you enter Heaven, it will probably kill you.” Gabriel stubbornly insisted.

“I don't care. At least I'll be with them. Please, Uncle Gabe, I can't bare being without them. Mama is practically my other half.”

“I know that, but you can't give up, sweetie. That's not what they would have wanted. If you die…” Gabriel paused, his face scrunching as he debated on revealing the piece of information. “I don't think you'll go to heaven. You're not really welcomed up there. I think they might… Send you elsewhere.”

“To Hell?” Emily pressed with more curiosity than fear. “Or purgatory?”

“I don't know. Cassie and I talked about it and couldn't come to a decisive conclusion. Angels don't go to Hell unless they're Lucifer, but they don't go to purgatory usually, but I think you and Abigail might be when you die.” Gabriel explained with a worried frown.

“I won't see them again?” Emily asked with wide, worried eyes. “Ever?”

“I'm sorry, Emme.” Gabriel murmured as he pulled her in for a hug. 

“I need Mama…” She whispered out almost to herself.

“I know. I promise I'll find a way to get you up there in the end. You and Abigail will be able to rest in Heaven.” Gabriel promised with conviction.

“Thank you.” Emily simply replied, falling into a silence as she rested her head on Gabriel's shoulder. The abyss within her still cried out for her parents, but at least she still had Gabriel.

\----------------------------------------------------

The fire burned in front of them, the flames flying upwards and licking the air.

Dean and Castiel we're laid out on the pyre, their bodies burning side by side.

Charlotte, Samandriel, Claire, Gabriel, and Emily stood back, watching as their loved ones burned away.

Suddenly, after moments of painful silence, something in Emily snapped. She sprung forth, running straight towards the flames. “Stop! You're hurting them!” She wailed, rushing forth with a sudden fear. “Mama! Daddy!”

Gabriel wordlessly pulled her away, holding her back as she struggled to go free and save her parents from burning to pieces. He pressed two fingers to her forehead, making her fall limp in his arms because otherwise, she might have run right into the fire and not stop there.

Nothing was fine. Everything was broken. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------

They were after her. The angels who killed Angela were coming for Emily, but they found Angela instead, and she was more than quick to defend her.

However, even a professional hunter could not have taken on that many angels, so Angela was swiftly taken out.

Emily heard her calling out for her, hearing her last call.

“Looks like it's my time. I'll see you around, love.”

Emily rushed to her side when she heard the words, appearing just in time to find Angela wounded on the ground, an injury in her abdomen pouring out angry crimson.

“Hey, love.” She coughed, feeling her energy slip away.

“No, Ange..” Emily gasped, bending down and holding her tightly. “H-hey, you don't look so great.”

“I always look great.” Angela smirked, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. “See ya, love.” She whispered, taking in in final breath that shuddered through her whole body one final time.

“Angela!” Emily shrieked, only just now noticing the other angels now surrounding her. “You…” She growled out, her eyes glowing with righteous anger as she glared at each of them in turn.

Within a number of seconds, every angel present spontaneously exploded.

Emily did not even notice what she had done. She bent down, pulling Angela's limp body close to her and holding her in her arms.

The only sound that could be heard was Emily's frantic murmuring.

“I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry…”

\----------------------------------------------------

“We should burn her, Emily. It is for the best.” Charlotte gently instructed, placing a comforting hand on Emily's shoulder.

“Yeah, you're right.” Emily nodded, slowly standing up and lifting Angela up with her, keeping her body close to her chest and refusing to let go. “They were coming for me. They wanted to kill me because I shouldn't even exist. I'm a danger to everyone around me. Daddy was right to be worried. I can't… I can't hurt anyone else. I'm not going to love again. I can't.”

“Emily, she was a hunter. Surely she would have died sooner or later. Your actions did little to bring this on. You cannot blame yourself.” Charlotte comforted.

“She would be alive right now if she hadn't met me. Don't you get it, Charlotte? I'm a mistake. I can't even control the powers I have half the time. I'm a time bomb waiting to go off. I needed Mama. He was the only thing keeping me sane. Now I've lost Daddy, Mama, and Angela. I'm broken, and I can't be fixed, but I can do one thing, and that is to never allow something like this to happen again.”

“If you are sure…” Charlotte murmured, knowing that Emily was extremely stubborn and would not back down from this promise. “At least allow me to help you burn Angela.’

Emily nodded, offering Charlotte a slightly forced smile. “Thanks, Char. I really appreciate it.”

“I am glad to help you.” Charlotte brushed off the thanks as she went over and helped alleviate some of Angela's weight from Emily. 

They watched Angela burn in silence, Emily leaning into Charlotte for support.

Charlotte kept an arm wrapped around Emily the entire time, keeping her close and safe as if to protect her from the pain she was feeling.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

When Claire died on a ghoul hunt, the three angels sat silently.

None of them moved when they burned her body. They just sat in a pained silence as they lost the last human member of their personal family.

Emily was hollow, staring off at nothing in particular. She had nothing left grounding her.

It was not too long after this that Samandriel and Charlotte returned to Heaven, and then, everything was truly lonely.

\----------------------------------------------------

Emily knew what she was doing when she called them. She knew they hated her. She knew that wanted her dead, and she had quickly learned that they were right for doing so. 

She had no choice left. Loneliness clawed at her every moment she was alive, and grief made her feel weighed down and lost.

“Nephilim.” One of the summoned angels spat, taking out her blade and glaring Emily down.

The other angels quickly followed.

“Wait! Just hear me out! I know you don't like me, but hey, we can patch things up and be friends, right?” Emily tried with a small smile.

An angel lunged towards her, trying to stab her with an angel blade.

“Okay, so I'll take that as a maybe.” Emily murmured as she ducked out of the way. “Look, I really don't want to fight. I don't know if I can anymore. I've lost my family. I want to go to heaven, but no one will let me in. I need your help… Please.” Emily begged, dodging a few attacks and just barely missing others.

“Never. You will only see Heaven when you die,” One of the angels barked. “And even then it will only be short-lived. I am sure you will be quickly thrown in purgatory where monsters like you belong!”

“That's the problem, my parents are in Heaven. I'm sure Claire is too, and I don't doubt that Angela is either. I can't be apart from them forever. Listen to me. You can kill me. Just promise me I'll go to Heaven to be with them.” Emily pleaded, her once energetic lively eyes now broken and begging for release.

“You will never see Heaven. We will make sure of that.” The angel snapped back, motioning for the other angels to follow her as she rushed to charge Emily.

The other angels swiftly followed, gathering in around Emily to smite her in a holy blow.

“No! I just want to see them!” Emily cried, finding her eyes glowing dull gray once more out of anger.

Without even thinking about it, she turned every one of the angels into separate, undisguisable piles of gray dust that blew and scattered with a swift breeze.

Emily fell to her knees, staring in horror at what she had just done, watching as the wind carried away the ashes of what had once been her relatives. 

Tears welled in her eyes as her gaze fell to the ground, staying locked on the earth beneath. Slowly, she lifted her head to the sky, looking upwards with pure despair. 

“I just wanna go home, Mama.”


End file.
